You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
