I'm lost and stupid without you.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
