I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
