last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
