I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
