checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
