toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize