I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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