Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
