The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
