I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
