all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
