the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
