I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
