Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
