you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
