dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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