Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
