Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
