Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
