He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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