So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
