what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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