another moral hangover. fuck.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
