There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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