i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
