All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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