my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
