1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize