Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
