I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
