Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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