hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
