you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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