you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
