Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
