Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I deserve this hangover.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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