Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
