do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
