we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
