how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
