Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
