After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
