Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
my poor anus
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
