I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
