id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
