Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize