didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
