HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
