how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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