He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize