I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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