i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
