I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
