Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
