My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
