Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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