I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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