Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
