I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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