I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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