You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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