i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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