And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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