you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
