I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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