Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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