I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
