i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
